Keeping Our Kids Accountable to the Beauty of the Stage of Singleness

Bruno Borges, PhD(c)

Singleness is often misunderstood in the church. Many see it as a waiting room for marriage, a problem to be solved, or an unfortunate stage to rush through. Yet Scripture paints a very different picture. In Genesis 2:15–18, before God declared it “not good” for man to be alone, Adam lived fully within the calling God had given him. He worked, worshiped, named the animals, and cultivated his relationship with the Lord. This stage of singleness was not wasted; it was purposeful. For our children and teens today, learning to embrace this stage as God intended is vital to their discipleship.

In Genesis 2:15, Adam is placed in the garden “to work it and keep it.” Before there was marriage, there was vocation. Work was not a punishment but a gift; a holy calling to steward creation. Andrew T. Walker emphasizes that human vocation is rooted in our creation as image-bearers designed to reflect God’s rule in the world.¹ Teaching our teens that singleness is first about learning to live faithfully in God’s calling helps them see purpose in their days beyond romantic fulfillment.

Verse 19 adds a layer of significance often overlooked: Adam names the animals. This is more than taxonomy; it is an act of exercising dominion, of fulfilling God’s command in Genesis 1:28 to subdue the earth. But notice the sequence: livestock are named first, then birds, then beasts of the field. Livestock are directly tied to provision. Naming them symbolically acknowledges that human flourishing will be supported by these creatures.² For our teens, this parallel highlights that financial provision and stewardship are part of their preparation during singleness.

Singleness, therefore, is not about idleness but about formation. It is the stage where young men and women must learn what it means to serve God in their calling, develop habits of work, and steward resources wisely. Paul reminds the Thessalonians that “if anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat” (2 Thess 3:10). Sam Allberry observes that a biblical view of singleness emphasizes productivity in the kingdom, not passivity.³ Helping our kids see that their schoolwork, their first jobs, and their financial stewardship are all part of preparing for adulthood connects their singleness with Adam’s example in Eden.

Yet alongside vocation and provision, Genesis 2 highlights relationship. Before God provided Eve, Adam was already in deep relationship with his Creator. This is where the beauty of singleness is often missed. Our young people must understand that their ultimate identity is not in being married but in being children of God and the Bride of Christ. Christopher West notes that all human love and sexuality point to the greater reality of Christ and the Church.⁴ Teaching this early prevents idolatry of marriage and helps them cultivate intimacy with Christ.

Two vertical relationships are especially crucial during singleness: our relationship with Christ as Groom and our relationship with the Father as children. In Ephesians 5:25–32, Paul explains that marriage is patterned after Christ’s relentless love for the Church. Helping teens grasp how Jesus pursues them, never abandons them, and redeems them through His sacrifice shapes how they will one day pursue or receive a spouse. Abigail Favale reminds us that Christian anthropology must start with Christ’s spousal gift of Himself.⁵ If our children understand this, their future marriages will reflect the gospel rather than cultural scripts.

Equally vital is seeing God as Father and ourselves as His children. 1 John 3:1 proclaims, “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God.” If our children learn to trust God’s provision and care as Father, they will later be equipped to parent out of the same posture. David Closson, Colin Smothers, and Denny Burk highlight that gender and family roles must be grounded first in our relationship with God, not cultural stereotypes.⁶ During singleness, these truths must become embedded in their identity.

Taken together, these insights form a framework for discipleship in singleness. Parents and churches must help young people see that this stage is not a waiting game but a season of purposeful growth. It involves learning to work diligently, steward resources, cultivate intimacy with Christ, and trust God as Father. When these vertical relationships and disciplines are in place, they will naturally overflow into healthy horizontal relationships with spouses, children, and the church.

So how do we hold our kids and teens accountable to this? First, by modeling it ourselves. If parents demonstrate that work is worship, finances are stewardship, and intimacy with God is central, teens will see it lived out. Smothers notes that culture is caught as much as it is taught.⁷ Second, by setting expectations. We should encourage our kids to take responsibility in school, home chores, and jobs, reminding them that they are cultivating provision like Adam did with the livestock.

Third, by discipling them in prayer and Scripture. Just as Adam walked with God, our children must learn how to walk with their Father daily. Fourth, by teaching them to see Christ’s pursuit of them. Journaling about God’s faithfulness, memorizing passages about Christ’s love, and worshiping together train their hearts to understand His relentless pursuit. Fifth, by practicing generosity. Even with small allowances or first paychecks, teens can learn that finances are not just for consumption but for kingdom impact.

This stage also requires community. Adam realized that none of the animals corresponded to him; he was alone in a way they could not fill.⁸ Teaching teens the importance of godly friendships and the body of Christ fills this relational need while they are single. Church should not be a place to hunt for a spouse but a family in which they belong. As John Piper notes, singleness highlights the sufficiency of Christ and the fellowship of believers.⁹

In sum, the stage of singleness is a God-given period of preparation. It is the time to work and serve, to learn financial provision and stewardship, to cultivate intimacy with Christ, to live as beloved children of God, and to root oneself in community. When parents and churches embrace this vision, they help their children avoid wasting singleness. Instead, they will see it as a beautiful stage that forms the foundation for marriage, family, and lifelong faithfulness.

If Adam’s example in Eden tells us anything, it is this: singleness is not an accident but part of God’s ordered design. It is the soil in which spiritual maturity, vocational faithfulness, and relational wholeness can grow. Let us, therefore, keep our children accountable not just to rules but to the beauty of God’s design. Singleness is a gift, and when lived faithfully, it prepares the heart for whatever calling God unfolds next.

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1. Andrew T. Walker, God and the Transgender Debate (The Good Book Company, 2017).

2. Gordon J. Wenham, Genesis 1–15 (Word Biblical Commentary, 1987).

3. Sam Allberry, 7 Myths About Singleness (Crossway, 2019).

4. Christopher West, Theology of the Body for Beginners (Ascension, 2004).

5. Abigail Favale, The Genesis of Gender: A Christian Theory (Ignatius Press, 2022).

6. Denny Burk, Colin Smoothers, and David Closson, Male and Female He Created Them (Family Research Council, 2020).

7. Colin Smothers, “The Household and the War for the Cosmos,” in Male and Female He Created Them (CBMW, 2019).

8. John H. Walton, The Lost World of Adam and Eve (IVP Academic, 2015).

9. John Piper, This Momentary Marriage (Crossway, 2009).