A Sacred Parental Calling: Discipling Our Children in God’s Design for Sexuality

Bruno Borges, PhD(c)

The journey of parenting is filled with preparation. We teach our children to read and write, to ride a bike, to study diligently for college, to drive responsibly, and to pursue a career. Some of these lessons will bear fruit in adulthood; others may fade depending on circumstances and interests. Yet one reality is certain: every child will one day live out their sexuality. This truth makes the discipleship of our children in God’s design for sexuality not optional but essential.

At first, it can feel strange, even uncomfortable, to think of children as “sexual beings.” For most parents, the word sexuality immediately conjures up images of sexual intimacy, a subject we would rather reserve for later years. Yet biblically, sexuality encompasses far more than physical intimacy. It is the reality of being created male and female in the image of God, designed for relationship, covenant, family, and the giving and receiving of love. From conception, sexuality is part of our child’s essence. To disciple them in sexuality, then, is not to corrupt innocence but to honor God’s design woven into their very being.

Unfortunately, our cultural default is silence. Parents often hesitate to speak with their children about sexuality for surface reasons: awkwardness, lack of resources, or a belief that “they’re not ready.” But beneath these reasons lies something deeper: we, as parents, carry our own wounds and distortions in this area. Many of us were never discipled by our own parents in God’s design, leaving us to wrestle silently with guilt, shame, pornography, broken intimacy, or distorted messages handed down through family and culture. The enemy leverages these struggles to keep us silent. Yet if we remain silent, our children will still be discipled by peers, media, and a culture that loudly proclaims sexual distortions rather than God’s truth.

This is why the work begins with us. Every parent has a “sexual narrative,” the story of how our sexuality has been shaped by family, culture, choices, wounds, and, for many, by redemption in Christ. Discipling our children does not require perfection but honesty. As parents face their own sexual narratives and bring them before God’s redeeming grace, they are freed to guide their children with authenticity. Our honesty becomes the seedbed for discipleship, showing children that God’s design is not only true but also redemptive, even in the midst of brokenness.

Scripture makes clear that parents, not pastors, youth leaders, or schools, are the primary disciplers of children in all areas of life, including sexuality. In Deuteronomy 6, God commands His people to teach His Word diligently to their children “when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”¹ Everyday rhythms of life become moments of discipleship. Applied to sexuality, this means creating homes where it is normal, not shameful, to talk about the body, identity, relationships, marriage, and intimacy. If sexuality is silenced in the Christian home, it will be shouted by the world outside.

The biblical framework for sexuality is beautifully presented in Genesis 2:15-25, which reveals ten components of God’s design: His presence, work, and purpose, obedience, the distinction between male and female, partnership, covenant, family formation, intimacy, unity, and innocence.² Each of these reminds us that sexuality is not merely about sex—it is covenantal, relational, spiritual, and central to our humanity. By gradually introducing these truths at age-appropriate levels, parents prepare their children to resist distortions and embrace God’s good design.

The stakes are high. Without intentional discipleship, distortions fill the vacuum. Culture normalizes pornography, casual sex, objectification, confusion of male and female, and redefinitions of marriage that deny covenant.³ These distortions do not simply compete with God’s design; they enslave. Parents must realize that the world is already discipling their children every day through songs, commercials, television, TikTok, and even school curricula. The only question is whether we will allow that discipleship to be the dominant voice, or whether we will answer the biblical call to teach God’s truth diligently in our homes.

At the Institute of Biblical Sexuality, one of our core values is to encourage and equip parents to take this discipleship seriously. Parents are uniquely positioned by God to prepare their children for this essential part of life. While we cannot guarantee that our children will excel in sports, academics, or careers, we can be sure that they will live out their sexuality. Preparing them for that reality is one of the most significant gifts we can give.

Thankfully, excellent resources exist to help parents start. Books such as The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality⁴ and Changes: 7 Biblical Lessons to Make Sense of Puberty⁵ provide age-appropriate guides for early conversations. Relationships: 11 Lessons to Give Kids a Greater Understanding of Biblical Sexuality⁶ helps older children and teens. And the God’s Design for Sex Series by Stan and Brenna Jones (Revised and Updated Edition, 2019) remains one of the most comprehensive resources available for a family discipleship journey in this area.⁷ These tools can give parents the structure and confidence to begin.

Parents, the call is urgent. The journey of discipling your child in sexuality is not one you can postpone until adolescence or delegate to someone else. It begins today, in the ordinary moments of your home, with honesty, grace, and faithfulness. Take a deep breath, lean into God’s Word, and trust Him to bless the seeds you plant. Start today, not because it is easy, but because it is essential, and because your children’s future faithfulness and freedom are worth it.

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1. Deuteronomy 6:7 (ESV).

2. For a fuller discussion of the ten components, see Bruno Borges, Biblical Sexuality: A Framework of God’s Design from the Garden to Today (forthcoming).

3. See David Closson, Gender Ideology: What Do Christians Need to Know? (Nashville: B&H, 2022), 44–57.

4. Luke Gilkerson, The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality (Cedar Rapids: Covenant Eyes, 2014).

5. __________, Changes: 7 Biblical Lessons to Make Sense of Puberty (Cedar Rapids: Covenant Eyes, 2014).

6. __________, Relationships: 11 Lessons to Give Kids a Greater Understanding of Biblical Sexuality (Cedar Rapids: Covenant Eyes, 2014).

7. Stan Jones and Brenna Jones, God’s Design for Sex Series, 4 Books: Revised and Updated Edition (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2019).